n|_|L

n|_|L n|_|L n|_|L I'm... gonna try .... (already got two the kingdom, etc*)) literally, being in the Sonoran Desert region has been the most pivotally uplifting and fundamentally askewing entreatise dev'or'my'life'', ahhh coastin on a righeous golden delsym)coughstorebrandequivalent)glow... what is it about christmas that makes everything feel so much like home, and right, to me? I love it~ I love the cold- I love the world being outright vicious in the elements, even fundamentally cruel~ as it should be~ as it could~ so be good (waaaait[delineation of elvish parodies ensues as follows:]"so, elf-one, (they're both quie(*must notify viewer*(*ok there's not supposed to be direct FCC-level infringement on our energetic bounds-| FOR SAKE OF COMPROMISING INTEGRITY| good GOD man! seriously it's taking a lot of freakin nothing but momentum to do what I'm doing and whether anyone appreciates that or not is a measure of my not-doing hahah ^^ fuck me that's inconclusive/defining~? I suppose? Oh yeah, that's what that shit feels like lmao~!

ever

how do we have true growth

when our roots are bracketed

by

$necessary evil$

?



it's almost as impossible- my dream

'reality'

'

almost as impossible

as that

of

a

...

*what is true growth if not in space?*

how eternal are we, who persist only in this atmosphere?

...

a totality- we are- as immense, as, unforgiving

..

no compromise- no peace- for me

no dream excuses

living

sleep

...

hope persists like a hidden wound
unkempt; uncared for
...

NEW SAMURAI ACCOUNT ERMIGERD

gotta make a new SoL account; good Lawd they got weaksauce splattered all over they killinz-flo'w~

in serious need of infrastructure restructure lol

garrr still, I'm pissed

death for the people

straight up


Haven't been able to update shit because my online time is so preciously slim, and difficult to arrange/ make happen, that I have no strength or motivation to blog... or do more than spit out clever insults on facebook...

so fuckin tired. fuck all this shit

I wanna play video games again soooooooooo bad... oh God... they would even have me cut out my own heart, to keep theirs beating... meanwhile my own has lost all feeling since they became a part of it

Trunk-ations in the Freiza fight

reasons, like this im spillin in this sentence here... and 'internal dialogue', thoughts, worries, even just acting based on rationality, or logic in general... I've found it's been an unavoidable eventuality to find it a pain in the ass; I was raised to 'act responsibly' and 'do the right thing' and right now my parents' love for me is all that I have, holding fast, in that corner.

It's a double-edged catch-22, my parents' love, and support for me, because meanwhile, on the other extreme (as the pendulum swings) I have the unforgettable, undeniable, firsthand experiences of my life, soaked into muscle memory and bleeding through all I am, and was; I can't deny either;

~the void~ {the dark wind; death; raw energy; power; attention; experience; reality~}, and-

~the light~ with its damnable insistence on parading momentary victories in reason's [lines circling into spirals, dripping into helixes and onward] self-perpetuating battlefield.

The way I just thought of it (hypocrisy and truth- get used to it) is like---

oh hell yes homey at mcdonalds, my nyugga~ ahhh dang light in my life is too good to me man. ahhh frick~!

Mass distribution of pharmaceuticals to the masses under the guise of an ill(icit)egal drug war

Here's what I gotta say-

You niggers think you're 'hard' smoking this shit they call crystal meth and heroin-? Chug some fuckin Delsym cough syrup before they mass-manufuck-sure that up just like they are well-done with weed already.

Look up 'speiss' nyuggas- read some Modessit or some shit on the days you're not slaving your bleak attenuation of meagerly portioned awareness doing this bullshit these slavedrivers call 'life' like its some needle in your ballsack you should be chompin at the bit to infest the earth with.

Well we learn from the best!

PS The bible is a systematic indoctrination to the 'pleasures of enjoying your American slave life!'- notice Job had his shit STRAIGHT til God's straightup 'well don't forget i'll fuckin kill you if I want to' and whoaaaah homey gets whipped back into line for another 120+ years~!

Just teaches you to accept the 'bridesmaid- the only solution- isn't it amaaazing~?' mentality where you watch everyone else climb above and over you and 'learn to smile for them' or 'just smile regardless *sigggh oh my moral fibers dough*'

There's lot more I say, said, and do on the subject just by persisting in the direction of possibility, rational deduction, observance, truth, and all that shit most people never have the time to tackle years on end on nd off in a sustained uphill battle, steaming, with mounting forces striving to end this...

If I ain't kept miserable though, well hell I might enjoy my life too much to exercise this passive observance of the collective consciousness' blind spot, hand on hilt awaiting the darker emanations to- well maybe I just like havin nyugga's backs whether they like it or not.... somethin I see too fuckin little of.

Hmmm although it occurs to me, that would make sense if they truly had my back covered; and I have been shown undue mercy and patience from the subjects of my hatred... darkness... bouts of failing human form flinging blood and shit in defiance..? Reflex habit, idk- only been born once lately and got compromised early and deep.

Good God is it hard for me to feel that same fire of faith and pride, in something that has shown me how little- so little, so much- all the friggin time like another fuckin embryotic womb around my drying hollow womb curling beneath the sun, was just what the dildo ordered.

shit you knot

I never thought shit could ever get this bad. Oh how deeply I have fallen... Straight out the ass of my soul  and not a glance at the shredded smear shadowing my shell-shot shit-shame

Koh\s in KingNole's Stockings

Ive been cheating on my blog..

should have made it pretty clear\
ain no gettin outta hear
cuz all round irradiotion,
has this city by the notion

fingers feel...
fore fathers..?
 where..

name your state
sit not there
state your name
if not your hair
carry no shot
theyll put to flame
bury your rot
pay for the pain

chaos breeds
up in the hills\
while deeper seeds
under neath, chills

'asked',
the morning glory
\son,-
theres no thyme\
we handed out
all of it
in our crime

~~~

if evil is beside itself
withchaos aimed at thee
andtruth is buried
on the shelf for all to plain, lee, see
i'll stalk the land
and in the end
we\ll hopefully be free..?