Jus sayin

God you know why I can't stand this school shit? I disagree with something, and that's too fucking bad.

This book we're reading about poetry for my creative writing class is about as full of shit as my toilet after a night of heavy drinking.  This mother fucker is literally telling us that when we write poems, we should be 'thinking about our audience'...

I wanted to slit my fuckin throat. Jesus fucking Christ, THANK YOU capitalist-industrial machine! Thank you for destroying the human-fucking-soul!

Since when the FUCK has writing poetry been about SELLING IT to someone?! You write fuckin poetry, hell you write fuckin ANYTHING and it's for YOU. You play a god damn guitar, it ain't to make some niglet idiot fucking rich kid bullshit bastards buy your god damn albums, you play because it is the BENT OF YOUR NATURE. You play because it brings you PEACE.

But no, America has turned this into a 'well you can take what makes you happy, and make money off it by capitalizing on other people hee-harrr-hee-harrr!'.  You know what? I don't want to capitalize on ANYONE. I don't want ANYONE to suffer because of the things I do. I do my shit from the fuckin heart, and my intentions aren't to fuck ANYONE over. I REFUSE to buy into this ideology. 

I'm gonna continue playing music, writing poems and stories, and doing the shit I do. And I don't give a fuckshit, hooker-in-a-handbasket, nigger-in-a-noose fucking shit if I am ever fuckin recognized or looked at. I can die tonight from liver failure or chokin on my vomit or a meteor hitting my goddamn face, and I would care no more about it at that moment than I do right fucking now.

You know why? Or partly why? Because people, at least 50% of the time, disgust me. Unless I know you personally, and I respect your opinion and what you believe, I don't give a FUCK if you think my shit stank!

The reason I have this blog is so I can at least put my voice out there, instead of holding it inside until I flip out and rape/murder some fuckers. There is an innate heaviness to our thoughts and by releasing it into the public stream, it loses some of that weight, and makes us clearer, and less encumbered. And the reason I have this shit linked to my public image is because if I do anything, I would like to set an example for other people- to tell them that they DONT have to buy into the bullshit that fuckers have been shoving down their throats since the day they opened their mouth to scream at the delivery bed.

Plus there is a part of me that genuinely doesn't give a fuck- everything is equal, and if this makes me feel better, than fuck yall.

Mysticated Whiskey

Well well well...

Been a long time since I... had this feeling.

Been a long time... been a long lonely lonely lonely~ lol

I am consistently amazed at this world... And I must marvel at the seamless synchronization of it all... God damn, Universe I am honored, nay, privileged to concede defeat, in this... my most mysterious, empowering hour...

Okay for people that don't smoke friggin banisteriasis caapi vine before snortin psychotria viridis rootbark, ahh... that means... I have a new pad.

Yep... no longer dwelling on the coattails of mommy and daddy. Well, dwelling on some shit, but it ain't that. You know the game, nyugga!

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Above retardation provided solely for scientific purposes
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Man. It's so surreal. I know, I know... I've been alive like 25 years- I should be used to this shit.

Well... call me a lame-o but life is still pretty awesome sometimes.

I've never needed a day off of homework like I've needed one today; luckily my old lady had me runnin pretty straight so there ain't no whiplash, and I can really just settle in... FINALLY. An end to the stress! Unbelievable.... I'm sweatin right now, just rubbing it all in my face, no joke, just thinkin about how heavy things were... all the mounting pressures ;_; aye poodle me rivers

It's nice, I'm located by a lot of stuff and I like the neighborhood- it's laid-back and more of my kind of place... definitely more city-like, though not on a main drag.

Yeah... things are good... it feels like every moment here is so new and invigorating, garrr! I digg it!

depression

Today will be a definitive day for me...

...I swear, you can't ever just do but one damn thing in this world, can you? You could devote your life to the robe and still have to worry about some jackass stealing your bible every morning, I swear...  Or in the least, you are expected to buy in to someone's religion, serve someone's higher end, in the mean time.

Can't even kill yourself in this fuckin world without people calling you selfish, Christ's fuckin sake.

Everyone's got their head's so comfortably far up your ass, then they ask you for rent.

Look at Christ, for God's sake- mother fucker gets nailed to a cross for resurrecting ungrateful little shits, every fuckin time.

Ain't no point in pursuing logic; every road just leads to a dead-end- the start of another road, or the beginning of the same one... same shit to me. Same bullshit dream, same unending nightmare... yet we're supposed to be grateful.

The only people who are successful in this capitalist slaughterhouse are the ones who would do nothing to change the rules of their pig-eat-pig game.

It forces you to become something you never wanted to be, something with a little less soul than the day before, and if you don't, you're just another meat bag with a mental disorder.

Suck it up, do what you gotta do

I'm friggin scared right now-

I have an appointment to sign a lease with this apartment.... err really it's like a room.... yeah it's a room in a house...

God I'm just so torn.  I don't want to be tied down like this... Entering an agreement like this is like the freakiest shit I could do >_< It just goes against everything I feel >_<  I really just want to cut out of it all and live on the streets again.  Fuck it, ya know- at least I'll always have money in my pocket! I don't give as much about having a place to sleep, as much as I do having money...

Everyone takes pride in these stupid shits; having rental obligations, marriage contracts, all forms of business-type deals and whatnot...

Fuckin idiots! You can't put a price on personal freedom!  I dont care how nice it feels having a place to live- garrrrr it drives me nuts!  But I'm fuckin tied to the wall now- I already have my ma invested in this venture as well, hell she's putting up like 800 bucks just so I could have a place... She probably thinks I'm a spoiled child, but she doesn't understand- I'm just refusing to accept the slavery that everyone so willingly and happily embraces.  Fuck this shit... How can I sign a year-long lease?! I don't have a guarantee about the loans or grants I'll be approved for!  Of course I should be confident- I know what I'm 'entitled' to but I'm so used to having the rules fuckin changed split-second without any warning or any excuse/let-down... ahhh how could I do thiiiiiiiis....

I just wanna.... God! If only I hadn't bought this god damn guitar! GOD DAMMIT I can't just turn my back on it...

I can't explain to these cushioned little fucks how I would rather have 400 dollars a month than a room or a house.  It's just a bad deal! Fuck the economy, and fuck the market! The fact that other people would say I should be GRATEFUL for a room for 400 a month, just furthers the point that we're THAT fuckin WHIPPED man! We're fuckin slaves. Fuckin tools.

God damn. I'm going to sign this shit... I'm gonna be locked in a damn lease and will have to keep my crazy-meter in check, which I hate more than anything in this world...

This is gonna suck so bad... god friggin dammit.  GOD I can't believe I'm getting suckered into this shit- ONLY because my mom wants me to do this shit, and ONLY because I love my ma more than anyone in the world, am I doing this bullshit. GOD DAMMIT...