feelin bummed...
should feel pretty good... got everything lined up for me short of having enough friggin money to last me til my next disbursement.... it's always fuckin something.
I drink beer, and I don't get buzzed... drink whiskey and I don't get drunk...
even my 'miracle medicine' can't touch me like it used to.
Feels like nothing touches me like it used to.
Not that I aint partial to feeling things differently either, just some shit was good in the past. Old devices ain't doin their magic though, that's what's up... i guess...
Just wish there was some change in my life. Feel like I see where this path came from and where it's going and yaaaay I should be happy because I have a steady sail ahead of me if I keep my head straight, but whoopdy fuckin do. The fuck is the point of life if all you do is go from point a to b.
Just wish I had something new goin on, somethin like a shootin star to hit this still dark night. A new love, a new passion... or even a rekindling of an old fire... just anything...
'go out and make it happen, Chuck' 'yeah be a good ol' boy and leave it to beaver or some shit'
ahh fuck yourselves. the fuck do old people get the right tellin us what to do when they're the ones left us this fuckin hellhole to fix up after em. hell i'd be happy too if i was on the ass-end of my years- thank God i'm leavin the fuckin place, is what I'd think. fuckin hypocrites.
fuckin easy to tell everyone to have a good night when ur on ur way out the door, all i'm sayin.
well i've been goin out the door my whole fuckin life and their ain't shit out here and there sure as hell ain't shit in there either. ain't shit anywhere- well actually it's quite ironic because everythings SHIT- different ass, same shit every god damn day. or vice versa. ain't that fuckin ironic when an end-all-be all statement can be swapped around like that and still make sense? shows you the world we live in. you can monkey for a sister or a dildo for a brain and it wouldn't make a hat damn of difference. black sabbath coulda been a christian rock band and it wouldn't have changed shit. the gravity of our existences is so strong that any direction you swim don't make a damn change in this swirlin toilet we all ride- all goin the same damn place. some cats say fuck it enjoy the ride, and they don't make a damn difference from the cats that work their whole lives makin themselves miserable tryin to change the world. ain't a god damn difference.
my ass could be wiped off the cosmic toilet paper and you other flecks of shit wouldn't give a god damn, or you'd make a big deal about it and go on with your usual shit. you know you're living in hell when you gotta fight tooth and nail just for god damn peace. heaven would be the opposite- that's how i know we're in fuckin hell. prove me wrong and i'll show you a flamin fuckin liar. you're in a snake pit surrounded by devils and the moment you throw one wrong look you're fuckin satan.
it's the same shit Garcia was sayin 'or Weir or whatever' in Box of Rain, only I ain't on painkillers.
shit, we got a couch outside the front door and that shit's facing backwards. seriously what the fuck. do i have to make a god damn asshole of myself every time i just wanna fix something or do the right fuckin thing? that's why I don't do shit. gotta be a fuckin devil just to do the right god damn thing around here. and look, i'll ask and it'll turn out i was wrong to ask, or there was some fuckin reason that shit was backwards, or some other convoluted rabbit pulled out of satan's ass just to make me look like a bigger piece of shit. that's all anyone's good for is makin me feel like fuckin shit! even when they make me happy they're just settin me up for a kick in the ass, I swear to god.
that's probly the reason they wouldn't let me go nukes even though i aced the ASVAB- fuckers probly realized I was the only puppet with brains enough to blow this hellhole to the dark side of the sun and do us all a favor.
and if you call me an asshole for thinkin so then you're an even bigger prick than me, by your own fuckin logic. fuckin hate this world.
ps fuck brown rice sushi whoever made that shit never ate it, then again God probly did the same thing when he made this hellhole n never spent a damn day here
If Copernicus, Tesla, or Hendrix had blogs... err... the faint shadows of their blogs caught in a blast of cold wind might resemble what is presented in this Tome o' Darkness xD
Monday, March 23, 2015
Thursday, March 19, 2015
I pray thou overlook such panderings...
One thing I can say for sure that's good about all I've been through in my life, is that I've learned to see things more as changes instead of better or worse...
What is good, what is bad- these are temporary things. Things that are affected and largely determined by the social environment one is immersed in/affected by at the time.
Well, one could say 'but my sense of right or wrong does not come from others- it's something I feel inside'. ' I know what's good and bad without anyone telling me so'.
It is true we are seemingly born with a natural sense of justice... though this could just be the result of VERY early impingements on our fragile, virgin minds as children. Impingements, or rather, impressions. We learn from what we see around us, what we perceive... So who can know for certain whether our seemingly innate sense of right and wrong is truly born into us, or if it predates our earliest recollections.
Technically you could make an experiment, having a kid grow up on some island with all that it would ever need supplied to it in some way... but even that would carry with it its own impingements, its own heaviness.
Science is pretty full of itself, sometimes. That's why I scoff at it so- how can you truly believe you ever have a 'controlled environment'? Standards and practices- these are all ultimately fallible, in light of some greater progress yet to come. 'Progress' itself is as personal a notion as one's fashion sense. Court of laws, court of... how vain is man that he could consider himself capable of judging another?
The court of the cosmos is the only true court- that which is as intangible as it is concrete...
You could say my elucidations bring me no power, no comfort, no extra edge... it gives me no advantage, so why persist?
It could be for that very reason...
For naught can be gained without a loss.
To me, it has always been the greatest expression of affection, of love, to give all with no benefit to oneself. No expected benefit at least. In this sense, my knowledge, my musings is of impeccable affection- for it gives ceaselessly without taking, or booning, me in the slightest...
As pointless as it is purposeful... A true balance...
Yet I'm a fool and I have faith. For is that not what faith is- the continued belief, love, reaching for something no matter what?
~
And cold though this logic may be, such equal in warmth there is in my emotion... so much so
These two extremes... held together by some force... maybe my spirit is the walls that contain these two bursting-outward forces...
Aye, I'm a fool man... I dream all day of love... of finally... of girls that are so closed I don't even know if they can feel love at all, finally letting me hold them, trusting in something as intangible and uncertain as an emotion...I dream all day of being blessed with good fortune, and when others, my friends, the girl's i've always dreamed of finally coming to me.
Maybe they are bastards who only want a man with money? Or perhaps they are so cold that they would keep their heart in check, waiting for an opportune time to raise a family..? How can one be so cold? How can women be so disgustingly cold and yet claim such hold over the realm of affection? Aye, hold they have over it, but that is not true emotion. True emotion stirs you to move whether you like it or not, whether it be the wise choice or not. Control be the absence of emotion- women have always seemed to me, such dark creatures, to be able to cut off their own feelings to do 'what they believe is the logical choice'.'
Hah! Yeah obviously I have some bitter wounds when it comes to love. Romeo and Juliet had the right of it, up until Shakespear was a little bitch and made them kill themselves. What a winning tale it would have been, if their love had united their houses... then again, I suppose every tale must be told, at some point. And I'm sure countless tales of such as I have endeared, have also been construed.
I don't know if I could respect a woman who would only approach me after I obtained some small measure of income, however. What speaks that of your 'love'?! That is no true love- true love is loving to snuggle in the cold rain, under a bush, when you have a house right up the street- but you want their company so much, that you'd rather be there with them than back at your house where your lover is not allowed. That to me is true love, not waiting until my ass gets some money and a career and proves to everyone that he isn't some worthless scumbag.
No- if you e'er expect my god-damned love, then love me now, when I have all doubts against me, when darkness shines brighter than light!
There are already a handful of gals that have met that prerequisite... but there are... there is one that I wish would. For I could not see her love as true were it to come after my rise from this valley.
Aye I'm a bitter soul. Though, I cannot blame them... do I not do the same..? I have them there, before me... perhaps they hope as much as I do, perhaps they are as bitter as I am, that I do not 'do this' extra step, or that my love for them is not strong enough that I cannot 'do this'....
Hypocrisy is a great source of balance, if you are optimistic ^,~m
I don't ask for much.... I just want you to tell me you love me... before I get up this mountain... past this valley... I just want to hear it once...
I won't do anything; I won't change anything..... it won't do anything or change anything... but it will mean so much to me.
Otherwise... well... third's a charm, I guess... I already had one bitch who never returned my love, though I (still) endlessly disperse it to her... and yes I can use such cold terminology, because the strength she still saps from me is more than compensate for any mere dictum I can ascribe her tortuous neglect.
Maybe this fiery, yet frozen, love, is the second, and the third shall come and break the damn wall between me and true, reciprocated love.
~~
Despite it all, I shall persist in mine endeavors.
Perhaps that is the way it works in this world-one advances in one regard, and the other, seeking to compensate/catch up, shoots forward and past the other, and thus the cycle continues...
Yeah, weird logic it be.
I know but this, though- Love can create greater together than any single man can hope, endeavour. And not only that, but it bringeth the ultimate satisfaction, greater than any reward, victory, or drug's impaction~
...i hope she loves me... i hope it so...
I hope... but pattern foretell 'no'...
What is good, what is bad- these are temporary things. Things that are affected and largely determined by the social environment one is immersed in/affected by at the time.
Well, one could say 'but my sense of right or wrong does not come from others- it's something I feel inside'. ' I know what's good and bad without anyone telling me so'.
It is true we are seemingly born with a natural sense of justice... though this could just be the result of VERY early impingements on our fragile, virgin minds as children. Impingements, or rather, impressions. We learn from what we see around us, what we perceive... So who can know for certain whether our seemingly innate sense of right and wrong is truly born into us, or if it predates our earliest recollections.
Technically you could make an experiment, having a kid grow up on some island with all that it would ever need supplied to it in some way... but even that would carry with it its own impingements, its own heaviness.
Science is pretty full of itself, sometimes. That's why I scoff at it so- how can you truly believe you ever have a 'controlled environment'? Standards and practices- these are all ultimately fallible, in light of some greater progress yet to come. 'Progress' itself is as personal a notion as one's fashion sense. Court of laws, court of... how vain is man that he could consider himself capable of judging another?
The court of the cosmos is the only true court- that which is as intangible as it is concrete...
You could say my elucidations bring me no power, no comfort, no extra edge... it gives me no advantage, so why persist?
It could be for that very reason...
For naught can be gained without a loss.
To me, it has always been the greatest expression of affection, of love, to give all with no benefit to oneself. No expected benefit at least. In this sense, my knowledge, my musings is of impeccable affection- for it gives ceaselessly without taking, or booning, me in the slightest...
As pointless as it is purposeful... A true balance...
Yet I'm a fool and I have faith. For is that not what faith is- the continued belief, love, reaching for something no matter what?
~
And cold though this logic may be, such equal in warmth there is in my emotion... so much so
These two extremes... held together by some force... maybe my spirit is the walls that contain these two bursting-outward forces...
Aye, I'm a fool man... I dream all day of love... of finally... of girls that are so closed I don't even know if they can feel love at all, finally letting me hold them, trusting in something as intangible and uncertain as an emotion...I dream all day of being blessed with good fortune, and when others, my friends, the girl's i've always dreamed of finally coming to me.
Maybe they are bastards who only want a man with money? Or perhaps they are so cold that they would keep their heart in check, waiting for an opportune time to raise a family..? How can one be so cold? How can women be so disgustingly cold and yet claim such hold over the realm of affection? Aye, hold they have over it, but that is not true emotion. True emotion stirs you to move whether you like it or not, whether it be the wise choice or not. Control be the absence of emotion- women have always seemed to me, such dark creatures, to be able to cut off their own feelings to do 'what they believe is the logical choice'.'
Hah! Yeah obviously I have some bitter wounds when it comes to love. Romeo and Juliet had the right of it, up until Shakespear was a little bitch and made them kill themselves. What a winning tale it would have been, if their love had united their houses... then again, I suppose every tale must be told, at some point. And I'm sure countless tales of such as I have endeared, have also been construed.
I don't know if I could respect a woman who would only approach me after I obtained some small measure of income, however. What speaks that of your 'love'?! That is no true love- true love is loving to snuggle in the cold rain, under a bush, when you have a house right up the street- but you want their company so much, that you'd rather be there with them than back at your house where your lover is not allowed. That to me is true love, not waiting until my ass gets some money and a career and proves to everyone that he isn't some worthless scumbag.
No- if you e'er expect my god-damned love, then love me now, when I have all doubts against me, when darkness shines brighter than light!
There are already a handful of gals that have met that prerequisite... but there are... there is one that I wish would. For I could not see her love as true were it to come after my rise from this valley.
Aye I'm a bitter soul. Though, I cannot blame them... do I not do the same..? I have them there, before me... perhaps they hope as much as I do, perhaps they are as bitter as I am, that I do not 'do this' extra step, or that my love for them is not strong enough that I cannot 'do this'....
Hypocrisy is a great source of balance, if you are optimistic ^,~m
I don't ask for much.... I just want you to tell me you love me... before I get up this mountain... past this valley... I just want to hear it once...
I won't do anything; I won't change anything..... it won't do anything or change anything... but it will mean so much to me.
Otherwise... well... third's a charm, I guess... I already had one bitch who never returned my love, though I (still) endlessly disperse it to her... and yes I can use such cold terminology, because the strength she still saps from me is more than compensate for any mere dictum I can ascribe her tortuous neglect.
Maybe this fiery, yet frozen, love, is the second, and the third shall come and break the damn wall between me and true, reciprocated love.
~~
Despite it all, I shall persist in mine endeavors.
Perhaps that is the way it works in this world-one advances in one regard, and the other, seeking to compensate/catch up, shoots forward and past the other, and thus the cycle continues...
Yeah, weird logic it be.
I know but this, though- Love can create greater together than any single man can hope, endeavour. And not only that, but it bringeth the ultimate satisfaction, greater than any reward, victory, or drug's impaction~
...i hope she loves me... i hope it so...
I hope... but pattern foretell 'no'...
Sunday, March 15, 2015
That gives us the ass end of it
Got a new pad, at a good rate.
Now I finally feel relaxed~ fresh slate!
Time to get to work on all the shit I made wait
Hope it ain't too laaaaaaaate~
Now I finally feel relaxed~ fresh slate!
Time to get to work on all the shit I made wait
Hope it ain't too laaaaaaaate~
Saturday, March 14, 2015
tails to fuses... sticky situation
I don't know what it is, but I feel this momentous, err, monumental(??)
MONSTROUS
serge inside me.... it's like some gears have shifted and I feel like I find myself thinking more in the long-term than before....
Feels pretty good? Idk, I'm just glad that this feeling came without any overt intention... maybe it was a lot of small things just adding up, gaining momentum.
yeah, a lot of things suddenly feel stronger... that's for sure...
MONSTROUS
serge inside me.... it's like some gears have shifted and I feel like I find myself thinking more in the long-term than before....
Feels pretty good? Idk, I'm just glad that this feeling came without any overt intention... maybe it was a lot of small things just adding up, gaining momentum.
yeah, a lot of things suddenly feel stronger... that's for sure...
Who's this 'river' anyways?!
Man, I swear it is foolish to take anything for granted in this world, for it will only increase the likelihood that it will be gone when it should be there.... This dual nature of the universe... no wonder so many cats blew their heads off. What is annoying is that despite our abilitiy to grasp the form or nature of it, just as Heissenberg said, the exact pinpointing will never happen... when it does lol it is just for a second, a moment.
What's fucked up is most of us hold our heads up towards some higher ideals, and yet we do not care to look at eachother, or what we are looking at. not just a 'howdy neighbor' or 'thank you' at the grocer store- no i mean we have not had a consensus as to the ultimate role of humanity, as long as I can recall.
It's a gentle passive tragedy, aye, that's for sure~
I don't know what has me feeling this way... so defeated and... half the time I just want to move forward... but,
It's like some black magic has been cast on me... but man that shit can be flushed!
Aye I feel a little better... I guess what's weird to me is finding strength in my own path... I'm so used to riding on the trails of others- brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers- but I find it (ain't that a pop song from like the 90s?!) idk 'I find it somethin to somethin...' oh yeah... 'i find it kind of strange' from Mad World maaaaaaaaaaan. Back in the 80s bro.
Ironically, bro is not a word that can be expounded on or exaggerated by *wait for it* any conventional means. For example: broooooooooooooo
is like saying brohhhhhhhhhhh and sometimes like saying broh of course.
alright.... right step.... hopped a puddle and puddly poodles...
xD
ooh contrare? le poodly
*intense concentration focused on this post*
all i'm sayin is
What's fucked up is most of us hold our heads up towards some higher ideals, and yet we do not care to look at eachother, or what we are looking at. not just a 'howdy neighbor' or 'thank you' at the grocer store- no i mean we have not had a consensus as to the ultimate role of humanity, as long as I can recall.
It's a gentle passive tragedy, aye, that's for sure~
I don't know what has me feeling this way... so defeated and... half the time I just want to move forward... but,
It's like some black magic has been cast on me... but man that shit can be flushed!
Aye I feel a little better... I guess what's weird to me is finding strength in my own path... I'm so used to riding on the trails of others- brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers- but I find it (ain't that a pop song from like the 90s?!) idk 'I find it somethin to somethin...' oh yeah... 'i find it kind of strange' from Mad World maaaaaaaaaaan. Back in the 80s bro.
Ironically, bro is not a word that can be expounded on or exaggerated by *wait for it* any conventional means. For example: broooooooooooooo
is like saying brohhhhhhhhhhh and sometimes like saying broh of course.
alright.... right step.... hopped a puddle and puddly poodles...
xD
ooh contrare? le poodly
*intense concentration focused on this post*
all i'm sayin is
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Operator
I swear, everything I do is just .... bound to be fucked in the ass at some point. No other way to talk about it- it's a predatory environment, that's for sure.... what's funny is, I thought that since we were human beings (capable of higher understanding, cognitive expression/capacity, and emotional intelligence), I thought that we were supposed to be getting along a LITTLE better than we are right now.
Short point is- I rate this world pretty low right now. Pretty friggin pathetic, this direction we've turned. Who allowed this? Who allowed the wealth to knot and clot like it's just waiting for the next big heart attack?! These old motherfuckers better get their shit together- just because they're old I ain't excusin em for bein incapable. They should know their place-
Well it's a wasted heated breath; even if they have new guys/ young cats coming in, as long as they embrace the old doctrines they might as well be friggin dinosaurs. Fuckin lizardmen, all of em should be tried and executed for crimes against the American people.
I just blew a bunch of money hangin out with a gal that probly didn't even appreciate how much I sacrificed just to see her... what's more frigged up is, I'm sure she could claim the same damn thing... friggin textbook Christians man...
Thank God I'm on the pure dexation and no longer am a syrup-swillin lizard! Thank God... I may have another year on Earth because of this (yay? >_>)
Honestly, at this point I think the devil would walk up to me and be like 'yo why are you so happy here in hell?'
'oh you came from Earth, holy shit... ' *does hail mary*
''have a drink bro, take it easy... holy shit that's a pain in the ass!'
somethin like that...
Still, I keep trying for this damn degree. I don't care if it takes so many friggin years- at least I enjoyed em.
I don't care if it racks up so much debt- I can eventually destroy 'em~
I don't care if they doubt me, say I'm a fool-
I'm gonna keep keepin on, so you better grab a stool~
It just bothers me... who would I rather have children with..? A woman that ... nah I won't even get into it. But, God damn, man...
I'm gonna seriously put that shit down and focus on my career; let it be a dream inside my head
A restless ambition that is daft... overfed...
'my rider left up on a midnight flyer...'
friggin Grateful Dead man....
It's a damn shame that I'ma keep persisting til I burn out; thought someone would've had it up to here with me by now lol. Fuckin A.
This blog itself is pretty funky, because I don't update it regularly enough for it to be credible, yet I update it.
What's fucked up about the universe we're in, is that darknesss is the prevalent entity! Seriously- darkness is the only thing that persissts until some 'star' decidesd to brighten shit up!
Here's what I don't get... I love my friends... old and new... but... that love ain't strong enough for the old ones to be back in my life again... guess it's just like me and my sisters- neither of us (our parties) really gave enough of a shit about the other, I guess. That's what it all boiled down to. How selfish we are, versus how much we're willing to invest in other people... and I guess, after everything we've all been through (in our own unique ways that somehow coincided) we just decided that the end profit was not worth the investment.
Can't say I blame em-I'm pretty disgusted with myself, sometimes... still, I can't expect the same from them.
Pretty much it's all just bullshittin around the same god damn bush, and I grow sick and tired of it unlike some cays. I mean, I genuinely wish for a change.
Well, here's another heaping helping of a whole lot of nothin'. Heissenberg would be proud- I'm sure.Pretty much my sentiment is- the way yall treat me, and eachother- yall be lucky if i decide to stick around long enough to fix your shit. Cuz goddamn this shit is broken as fuck!
All in all, guess I ain't got too much shit to complain about though, lol.
...just, if I was with the higher ups, I would do things a LOOOOOOOOT differently! and that's why I'll never be there.
I don't know... after I typed that I had a sharp vision of a world where such is possible... that a man can be a representative of the people without having to buy into corporate or political bogusness.... when a man is asked 'are you a democrat or a republican?' and he can just say 'IM AN AMERICAN, DUDE!' Something like that. I don't know... I've been sayin that shit and preachin it on the streets for a good minute lol
Short point is- I rate this world pretty low right now. Pretty friggin pathetic, this direction we've turned. Who allowed this? Who allowed the wealth to knot and clot like it's just waiting for the next big heart attack?! These old motherfuckers better get their shit together- just because they're old I ain't excusin em for bein incapable. They should know their place-
Well it's a wasted heated breath; even if they have new guys/ young cats coming in, as long as they embrace the old doctrines they might as well be friggin dinosaurs. Fuckin lizardmen, all of em should be tried and executed for crimes against the American people.
I just blew a bunch of money hangin out with a gal that probly didn't even appreciate how much I sacrificed just to see her... what's more frigged up is, I'm sure she could claim the same damn thing... friggin textbook Christians man...
Thank God I'm on the pure dexation and no longer am a syrup-swillin lizard! Thank God... I may have another year on Earth because of this (yay? >_>)
Honestly, at this point I think the devil would walk up to me and be like 'yo why are you so happy here in hell?'
'oh you came from Earth, holy shit... ' *does hail mary*
''have a drink bro, take it easy... holy shit that's a pain in the ass!'
somethin like that...
Still, I keep trying for this damn degree. I don't care if it takes so many friggin years- at least I enjoyed em.
I don't care if it racks up so much debt- I can eventually destroy 'em~
I don't care if they doubt me, say I'm a fool-
I'm gonna keep keepin on, so you better grab a stool~
It just bothers me... who would I rather have children with..? A woman that ... nah I won't even get into it. But, God damn, man...
I'm gonna seriously put that shit down and focus on my career; let it be a dream inside my head
A restless ambition that is daft... overfed...
'my rider left up on a midnight flyer...'
friggin Grateful Dead man....
It's a damn shame that I'ma keep persisting til I burn out; thought someone would've had it up to here with me by now lol. Fuckin A.
This blog itself is pretty funky, because I don't update it regularly enough for it to be credible, yet I update it.
What's fucked up about the universe we're in, is that darknesss is the prevalent entity! Seriously- darkness is the only thing that persissts until some 'star' decidesd to brighten shit up!
Here's what I don't get... I love my friends... old and new... but... that love ain't strong enough for the old ones to be back in my life again... guess it's just like me and my sisters- neither of us (our parties) really gave enough of a shit about the other, I guess. That's what it all boiled down to. How selfish we are, versus how much we're willing to invest in other people... and I guess, after everything we've all been through (in our own unique ways that somehow coincided) we just decided that the end profit was not worth the investment.
Can't say I blame em-I'm pretty disgusted with myself, sometimes... still, I can't expect the same from them.
Pretty much it's all just bullshittin around the same god damn bush, and I grow sick and tired of it unlike some cays. I mean, I genuinely wish for a change.
Well, here's another heaping helping of a whole lot of nothin'. Heissenberg would be proud- I'm sure.Pretty much my sentiment is- the way yall treat me, and eachother- yall be lucky if i decide to stick around long enough to fix your shit. Cuz goddamn this shit is broken as fuck!
All in all, guess I ain't got too much shit to complain about though, lol.
...just, if I was with the higher ups, I would do things a LOOOOOOOOT differently! and that's why I'll never be there.
I don't know... after I typed that I had a sharp vision of a world where such is possible... that a man can be a representative of the people without having to buy into corporate or political bogusness.... when a man is asked 'are you a democrat or a republican?' and he can just say 'IM AN AMERICAN, DUDE!' Something like that. I don't know... I've been sayin that shit and preachin it on the streets for a good minute lol
Monday, March 2, 2015
The Polish Joke
Man I feel more and more like I'm just walking on some ... Well this new pad is definitely a step in a different direction. I wish I could just play games and honestly I don't even know what I want anymore...
After all the shit I've been through and seen, I'm almost just happy to be whatever I feel like at the moment...
Well I guess we can alll skirt around Heissenberg's Uncertainty the thing is, hangin out with this broad, I don't know... I feel like doin all that stupid shit that everyone else wants to do... and I'd be happy too, if I was with her...
I just feel like that's selling out... buying into the bullshit...I don't wanna believe in something so simple and powerful, but, i feel like everything i could ever want is right here in front of me....
It's all an illusion- there aren't any certainties and if I am anything it's a fuckin skeptic~ It is something so important to me that I have kept myself far from it for so long.... I'm just .... fuckin poodling man....
well i promised my ma i'd get some homework done despite all this ... i'm a man of my word, if not a lazy bastard
After all the shit I've been through and seen, I'm almost just happy to be whatever I feel like at the moment...
Well I guess we can alll skirt around Heissenberg's Uncertainty the thing is, hangin out with this broad, I don't know... I feel like doin all that stupid shit that everyone else wants to do... and I'd be happy too, if I was with her...
I just feel like that's selling out... buying into the bullshit...I don't wanna believe in something so simple and powerful, but, i feel like everything i could ever want is right here in front of me....
It's all an illusion- there aren't any certainties and if I am anything it's a fuckin skeptic~ It is something so important to me that I have kept myself far from it for so long.... I'm just .... fuckin poodling man....
well i promised my ma i'd get some homework done despite all this ... i'm a man of my word, if not a lazy bastard
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