death upon me

It gets quiet alluva sudden as soon as I start opening my blog...


I've been living with a ridiculous amount of possibility passing through my head, every day. Hah even just now, the first 'earringing' occurs that I've felt today...

Middle name Henry, indeed. No excuse for this electromagnetic inductance-capacitance slavery that passes through all our asses and right over our heads. 

There's so muc I can do, but not with this baseline constantly slipping lower and lower beneath me. And once firm footing is obtained, even that is taxed, even that shallow certainty is attacked... 

 It feels like a cold winter, on top of the air being heavier than before.

Living amongst tweakers and true hope-fiends, indeed... corporate  slaves and wannabe-beourgeoisie.

got a biting infection or something in my left chest... its heavy and i feel it every time i inhale.

inhuman

Long have I loathed what I've long since-become. It would take eons to tell all my closest of friends just  what has happened, what I've realized... though one thing I know is this: I'm better off with em. I want my buddies back in my life~ and I dream of it every day as I walk through this desert, a blight~

things i've done/ realized/ reverbed, lately~ slitboy flat

mass medication of the public under the guise of an illegal drug war
unification of the general theories (for now) of physics [under one overarching paradigm]
viable solution to the 4-colors theorem. (piece of cake, err, pie/pi lol)
figuring out alternative interpretations of the latin alphabet, english language, etc~
         ^^---so much more to come from that one! ^^^^

oh and that shiz about the moon's craters possibly being mercury-tears lunarly-seeped during early solastic magma-scenes~

^_^~m tubular~ gnar-gnar~ et cetera~ bull-world no more~ (know.. moore(?))

trying, as always, to write more as it flows, and not regramming 'o''s, etc~

heheh
excellence abides in most righteous fashion~ 

Unhope

This is the worst time of my life, worst place I ever lived, worst feelings I've ever had, worst everything.
And it feels like leaving would just make it worse.
Staying, things just get worse.
At least the valley of darkness had mountains on the side- this shit SUCKS. ALL THE TIME. ALL AROUND. WITHOUT END.

At last, the dream is rekindled

Phantoms passed, unrelenting, before my eyes~
unblinking, with only memories of light~


I got a job at McDonalds down the street from where I frequent... yeah the storage shed where I crash at night lol...

Look all I gotta say is- I ain't gonna hate any man, to love~
For once, a dream WILL come true in this world~
...And I've dreamed only of you...

...as phantoms passed, unrelenting, before my eyes- unblinking, with just memories of light~

(that's where that came from)


~
One class for my certification, and one year for my degree; I wanna make games, yeah, but the only memories I want to make are with those I still love, the ones who I could play old games with all day, forever, because they ARE my final fantasy~
I miss you guys so much

A reflash of the sameold sameold

Why does this cause such great trepidation in me...

I would like to think I could roll with anything- do anything, and be positive...

Not wanting to dex, when I can't anyways, is nothing at all like choosing not to, when I can anytime.

So simple, this battle I have fought for so long. Always, I... I can't even pit myself against it- I only choose... what reason can validate over such a length of time that..

'...and shine on it a light so bright/ it fails to leave any impression'



..Great is my enmity with the world, so damned great...

miss mah neegruhs

been living in a tweaker pad for like three, four years now...

pisses me off seeing all these rich kids on disability breezin through here, or whoring their way around beds and skooma dens.

God I miss my old friends, and the lives I have lived before this hell.

Terrible place to get 'my act together' or 'back on my feet', but, that's all there is to do; luck and God haven't done shit for me.

update on the basics

I've been, for the past 2-3 years now, going ot the public and college libraries here in souther Tucson, almost every day, and simply emulating all pre-ps2-era titles I have felt like. It's taken this long for me to... oh wait who am I poodlin? I ain't even gettin tired of it yet!

Though constantly replaying Pokemon: Emerald sure is losing its...
Nope I can even see that being awesome again, once I'm not so damn sick I can barely watch old anime!

Yeah I've been rewatching classic anime too- I WOULD be working on my god damn RPG Maker project, if I ran a takeown.exe line off, say, a recovery partition boot or you know, something, for S-1-1-0, so everyone could enjoy admin access~


Aye I'm sick as hell right now- bronchitis, probably pneumonia too, if not flue as well~
friggin sucks

If we are scattered
it is to their gain.. no, all things can gain, n shit.

I feel like I've got the inverse of the wound to my spleen, happenin right now~ it doesn't feel like somethin i should worry about, so much that it can't be right/true/etc

Long and deep are the shadows

I'm overextended and it's the bare fibers of my being that are being called to action- everything is in flux; inductance is now no natural surge of power, no, it is aligned with a contrary emphasis.  It is an emphasis that demands to precede and surpass me, a darkness that demands all-or-nothing, so, fuck that shit.

Easy come easy go~

So it has been and will be...~

As we breeze we come and go as we please~ and that's how it has to be~