Earthbound

...is an awesome game.

I beat the SHIT out of it! Man! It took me so long to get the Gutsy Bat lol. Holy crap... But, dang, you kick so much ass with it.

Man, things are going really awesome with me and this gal... her name is Emma... Emma Teskey~

She makes me feel so solid, ya know =) man, I really digg her...

After both the relationships I've had so far (both were sort of polar opposites of each other (of course they shared common facets)) it seems like... what me and Emma have is a real balance; it's finally not just trying to balance one extreme and finding steadiness in that- it's finding steadiness and moving onward from that.  =) man she really is awesome... like an elf, with some preternatural knowledge or something.  She's so confident but lighthearted, patient and understanding ^_^ God, I've really gotten lucky, this time... I gotta work really hard on my schoolwork lol; there's no WAY I'm screwing this up!

God, she's so sweet! I love her like I've never loved anyone else, before.  I mean I don't know where this is going to lead, or what is gonna happen between me and her, but honestly, I am so grateful...

ahh well.. enough loving-doving~ garrrr...

It's just so great- I don't have to compromise who I am, at all, ya know? And she still diggs me! It's like I said the other night, to her- I've always said I've never understood why my girlfriends were with me, but until I met Emma, I never really meant it lol; it was always sort of an exasperation.  Now, I honestly don't know WHY such an awesome gal would be with a bum like me xD

Well. Maybe I'm just flappin the... gums... err mouth region... jaw..?

Anyways...

I'm gonna lay down and read my sociology book... the class is finally getting intense, so I actually have to try now. =/

Arbeit Macht Frei...
was für eine geschichte...!

is BoF1 really that good?

we shall see....

i am a beast... veritably badass endgame files on Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars and Earthbound. Now, my bro Maslow be dissin on me, sayin 'Breath of Fire, ermigerrrrd....'

...well, pumpkin-face, i shall do so. bring forth, the Bad Breath... and no, ain't no Marlboros here, braaaaah.

I be talkin bout the BoFFFFFFFFFFFFF son!

alright i'm downloading that shit.

I waited my whole life...

to fall in love...

...yet it was only when I surrendered to the possibility that I would be alone for the rest of my life, that love found me...

And it wasn't a perfect love- is any love perfect? or anything-? yet I digress... so it wasn't meant to be, ya know... so i went on my merry way and sure enough, with little effort, i found love, again, and it met me equally, and i learned a shit ton lol. and that love lasted a while...

and that, too, was ill-fated... despite my intentions, it floundered...

man i'm like really not even getting close to skimming the bare essence of what really happened or the immense seas of emotions that i swam in either of these relationships, but alas, a tale for another time, eh...

so... the other day i went out on a limb and reached out to a fair lass~ =)

(understatements be the frequency of this wave, it seems lol)

aaaaaaaand today we went on a date... and i had a pretty good time =) i really was pretty comfortable around her, and sure i probably blabbered on like a friggin idiot for way too long >_< garrrrrr... but she was patient and composed, yet receptive and outgoing... very balanced...

mmmm i walked her home, and honestly i wished we were going home together, it was so nice being with her... she was sweet... so sweet lol... i asked if i could kiss her cheek, and we hugged (a lil awkward at first) and i kissed her anywhere i could (right on the side of her head i think xD yeah i'm real romantic...;_;) and i held her tight... she held me tight... it felt really good... so we looked at each other for a second, and I moved forward and we kissed...

(...further descriptions available for deluxe blog members only! Memberships start at 5.95/month, Paypal accepted, see our gift packages! Surprise a spouse...)

....lol...

so needless to say, ahhhh i definitely hope we see each other again.  after all the crap i've been through, it's kinda hard for me to honestly get my hopes up about this kinda  stuff... but...

a negro can hope, eh.

Bye, Bye Miss American Pie...

This one goes out to the one I love....
This one goes out to the one I LEFT, behind...

Seriously though, how long has it been since I had a serious blog?

I got a bottle of some GOOD whiskey for once... laugh all ya want, children~
Jim Beam don't take no names..!

xD I know, coulda got Jack Daniels, which is way more classy and tasty, or I coulda gone the other way and gotten Southern Comfort, Ten High, Seventy-Five South (do they even have that outside of Flag lol). But the shopkeeper talked me in to buyin this stupid bottle with a complimentary Kid Rock CD, so I put the CD by the kids' stereo... at least it's gentle rock, it won' convert them to Punk or meth lol. I know that's what their mom thinks about everything...

God I swear this place is haunted... it creeps me out, man... something always follows me from the bathroom to my room, like... whew I can expect it, freakin a...

So I'm living with this nice chick, Daniele, and her awesome sons Julian and Jona. They're seriously the coolest little dudes I've ever known lol like, I couldn't have asked for cooler little brothers =)

It's weird how, when kids are a part of your life, you have this energy, ya know. It feels great! I mean, I love playing with these kids, man, it's really awesome! lol I bought them a bunch of legos, and I can't wait til I can buy them something that'll really make them happy! They can use it- I don't know, it just seems whatever's going on with this lady and her husband, it really bums them out and she needs to move forward and cut those ties off, if they're just going to weigh her down. Garrr harsh reality, but truth is truth~

School is going good. I'm very diligent with my coursework and my studies.  I like playing in the high-A range, it's the way to be, word~

Thing is, I have a lot of complication going on right now with my whole religion... but before I get to that, I wanna touch up on some Genealogy that i've been doing.

So I subscribed to this ancestry site... got very few days left to use it...


~~~~

Man I got way absorbed into that genealogy stuff... I gotta say, this life ain't all that bad, man.  I was a disgruntled little shit, for most of it so far. And I'm sure I will have my ups and downs, later, as well.

But for the most part... man. You can't beat it. You just can't beat it... Life is good here on planet Earth... especially in America...

Ahh. Which brings me to the next thing I wanted to... peel like an orange lol.

This whole religion thing, man. It really blows my mind, and at the same time, it makes perfect friggin sense.  Actually, the universe in general is really lining up for me, these days... lol I know that sounds like the most faggotry weird thing to say, but honestly... I don't know. Shit's just fitting like it should.  Things are just... yeah. well you get the point. 

I've started to move in a different direction with my life... It's really weird, to think about how radical the change is from who I was to who I am now... but truly, as that one cat once said in that black and white Christmas movie- 'Ahh, well ain't it a wonderful life..?'

It truly is...

~~~~~~~

So... the thing is, I really digg the mormons. They're extremely honest, and they truly practice the teachings of Christ and the prophets. And what's cool about Mormonism, is that they continue the lineage of what happened in the biblical times.  Thus, they relate to present times a lot better than christians, or catholics, etc.

Yes, Mormons can be seen as pushy. But don't they go away if you tell them to? What does it tell you about someone's beliefs when they are willing to travel door-to-door, like Jehova's Witnesses, just out of pure compassion..?

What's funny is, I see a lot of Christians espousing what it is to be Christians, and ridiculing those who do not fall into their criteria.  They will tell you straight up- if you don't do this, then you're going to hell and you're not worth my time, yada yada..

Mormons actually practice the word of God.  They believe that there are prophets among us! They believe that America could be the new Zion! I mean, talk about tangible! That's a true faith- one that is applicable to the present times, and the present people.

Yes, I do believe that Mormons spend way too much time talking about spreading mormonism and programming church propaganda. The same can be said about any church... Well, actually there's this church I've been going to, it's a non-denominational church.... and... honestly.... the most beautiful thing happened the other day. Maybe it's correlated- idk- but I donated $50 to this church, because I truly loved and appreciated them, and what do you know..? Next Sunday, some guitarist who toured with the Grateful Dead shows up, and he plays 'Ripple', and me and him are the only dudes in the whole church singing... and honestly, that just felt like divine intervention... I even went up to him afterwards but he seemed preoccupied with other cats so I just thanked him for his beautiful music and asked for God's blessings upon him....

Man... It was so amazing....

Yet, when I went to the Mormon church, I was greeted by a different shade of human... I was greeted by the side that earnestly strove forth, the side that did not falsify or diminish the weakness of man... rather, they shared their open wounds and said 'this is all I am, that I know of'  and I was more touched by them than even the 'Ripple' rendition by that guitarist at the non-denominational church... It wasn't as pretty, or as gentle, or as forced as his rendition... one thing that really bothered me, was- he changed the lyrics; at the very end, he said 'Yes I know the way, I will take you home'... and it seemed so cocky, so arrogant! It's like pissing on Jerry Garcia's face while he's crying, for God's sake! And I realized that the non-denominational church... it wasn't humble.

Well, those are my thoughts. I'm truly tired... I just wanna lay down and go to sleep. This is too much for me... though I wish I had a sweet gal next to me to hold as I fell asleep, rather than this old pillow....

And another road

Another day goes by... and I am tossed in the same temoltuous seas~

dogma

well it's been a while since I really sat down and blogged about current events...

So. things going on in my life~

As far as females- not much.

As far as the eye can see- it's nice as hell in Prescott, AZ~ definitely prettier than Flagstaff... it's a good place. I like the people here.

I've been going to this non-denominational church, it's really cool. I like the people there, and the spirit- it's just so uplifting, always. In a way, it reeks of self-righteousness, but honestly all the cats there are aspiring for a greater good... like, honestly I can't wait for church again, ya know?! I might just look up in my phone and see if there's any services this morning, anywhere nearby~

Faith is the difference between left and right

There were many houses and apartments in Warrensburg, Missouri. I was a young lad, barely old enough to go to the store on my own; yet on my own, I went, and in many places that people would never have dreamed.

People tell me that I should speak from my heart- but I have no fuckin clue what my heart desires sometimes. Yes, sure there's that resonance, that emboldening feeling of awesomeness, that awashes over us time and time again... but always it recedes to the darkness...

You ever hear the expression, 'half full cup, or half empty?'

...and did I ever tell you the definition of insanity..?

...It looks a lot like John Travolta, mixed with Jack Nikolson and a little Harrison Ford for drama.

Oh, man, you can still eat clay pigeons and be surprised when niggas be shooting at you from the White House.

`~~~~~~

In further news- are signs from God really justifiable? Are we just looking for our own answers?

Should we say 'screw the signs- this is what I want..!'

hmmmm... life is such a balancing act, is it not... The decisions we do or don't make are going to affect everything, ie, if we do stuff, it will affect other stuff... simple stuff...

If you are honest and give your best, then you will not be afraid of what will come... for you seek honesty, and providence, and that is not so scary.