Suck it up, do what you gotta do

I'm friggin scared right now-

I have an appointment to sign a lease with this apartment.... err really it's like a room.... yeah it's a room in a house...

God I'm just so torn.  I don't want to be tied down like this... Entering an agreement like this is like the freakiest shit I could do >_< It just goes against everything I feel >_<  I really just want to cut out of it all and live on the streets again.  Fuck it, ya know- at least I'll always have money in my pocket! I don't give as much about having a place to sleep, as much as I do having money...

Everyone takes pride in these stupid shits; having rental obligations, marriage contracts, all forms of business-type deals and whatnot...

Fuckin idiots! You can't put a price on personal freedom!  I dont care how nice it feels having a place to live- garrrrr it drives me nuts!  But I'm fuckin tied to the wall now- I already have my ma invested in this venture as well, hell she's putting up like 800 bucks just so I could have a place... She probably thinks I'm a spoiled child, but she doesn't understand- I'm just refusing to accept the slavery that everyone so willingly and happily embraces.  Fuck this shit... How can I sign a year-long lease?! I don't have a guarantee about the loans or grants I'll be approved for!  Of course I should be confident- I know what I'm 'entitled' to but I'm so used to having the rules fuckin changed split-second without any warning or any excuse/let-down... ahhh how could I do thiiiiiiiis....

I just wanna.... God! If only I hadn't bought this god damn guitar! GOD DAMMIT I can't just turn my back on it...

I can't explain to these cushioned little fucks how I would rather have 400 dollars a month than a room or a house.  It's just a bad deal! Fuck the economy, and fuck the market! The fact that other people would say I should be GRATEFUL for a room for 400 a month, just furthers the point that we're THAT fuckin WHIPPED man! We're fuckin slaves. Fuckin tools.

God damn. I'm going to sign this shit... I'm gonna be locked in a damn lease and will have to keep my crazy-meter in check, which I hate more than anything in this world...

This is gonna suck so bad... god friggin dammit.  GOD I can't believe I'm getting suckered into this shit- ONLY because my mom wants me to do this shit, and ONLY because I love my ma more than anyone in the world, am I doing this bullshit. GOD DAMMIT...