Their Will Be Done

We're so fuckin puny. We are literally just like the tiny atoms, and just like the monumental planets in orbit, and just like the fuckin cars in the racetrack... I mean it, it's all such fuckin bullshit man. How can anyone possibly take this so seriously? How can anyone take life so damn serious?!

I say this as I take life utterly seriously lol.

Man, I really gotta get back into school... God, there's just this empty void in my life, I don't know what it is but I know there's no hope of filling it... Blah blah, everyone's heard this same shit before, ya know.  I'm just another mother fucker. Another mother fucker in pain crying out to the heavens as the darkness crushes all sound and reason... Another static echo in life's resounding chamber of noiseless fog in my head~

I'm getting so close to the borderline. I'm just gonna fucking snap one day, I know it. Something's gonna wash over me, and I won't have anything to hold on to, so I'll just ride that 'fuck it' wave out to who knows where, and ya know what? I won't give a shit. Cuz even if anyone gave a shit about me, or anything, it doesn't fuckin matter. Nothing fuckin matters. This country is bullshit. We founded this shit on obtaining a feeling of satisfaction and then as soon as we find the first shortcut to that road BAM we cut that shit off, quarantine it, nope, can't do that...

I welcome death. I know it awaits me. And it is the only ultimate end to this dream.

Seriously, this is a fucked up planet.

Now, I wonder if there's a possibility of breaking the bounds of this containment. See, dualism is as ingrained in this reality as gravity and sovereignty. It is as real and identifiable as the rocks in a geological spectrum. One would have to assume that perhaps there is another force... perhaps it is a force so linguistically undefiable as to ascertain a nodst creanx... hell I have to illuminate unperturbed hallways just to get a glimpse of the doors that lead to its chambers.

Castaneda touched on it, explaining that there is the Known, the Unknown, and the Unknowable. And you cannot connect to the Unknowable directly from the Known- you must proceed through the Unknown and depart from there. I tell you what, though; from personal experience, it is extremely strange~ =) It's like trying to row a boat through a forest, it requires unbending intent in the face of unquestionable scrutiny. Some men would give up their cause right then and their, because their will is weak and pliable. You must be like the reed in the wind~ fluidly flowing and responsive, but firmly footed and rooted.

...

Which is why I recommend acid, LSD, mushrooms, peyote, ayahuasca, or hell, even a righteous morning glory expedition. I am a firm believer in substance use. There is no such thing as substance abuse, only the abusive use of substance. If that makes any sense. Sounds like something J. Edgar Hoover woulda come up with, or some government bullshit to fight the war on drugs.

Well for the first time in a long time I find myself sitting in front of a computer for copious hours, stretching the extent of my intentions 'like butter over too much bread'.

The road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began~
Now, far ahead, the road has gone...
And I must follow... If I can....

Righteous undertakings me bruddah man. Riotcheous~ ooondertakin~