Whiskey in the jar

What do you want me to do
To watch for you while you're sleepin...?~
...Then please don't be surprised
When you find me dreaming too...

Man when I was a kid I thought I was gonna take over the freakin world. There wasn't a single damn thing to stop me from doing what I wanted...

Slowly but surely, the ant hill before me became a mountain... and the little dirt trail I started out on became a massive highway filled with tons of others like me, some faster, some (few) slower.

Is it right to dream when your dreams are shared by so many? Is it right to be inspired?

People can tell me, 'Hey Charles, you're so cool man. Of course you're unique. You're the only guy like you.'

(Whole lotta good bein a 'guy like me' has been so far)

Now it's like my eyes ain't on them stars. Now it's like my eyes are on what's in front of me, and I'm just trying to get through the damn day. What the hell... It ain't right man.

If you should stand
Then who's to guide you...?
...If I knew the way
I would take you home
It's not possible to lose something without gaining something else, ya know. But I think I'd rather have what I lost lol.

~~~
(Drug rant)

I experimented with a ton of psychedelics and entheogens... I ordered shit online from places like Latvia, Brazil, Washington, even. But it wasn't til I found dxm that I really found what I loved.

There's a bite to it, of course. It's not all ups ya know. Nothing is... And I might even die from this shit. Hell I probably already am dying. I've been ingesting so much syrup and sugar, my body's probably shot.

On the one hand I'm ashamed... But when I take away the family, the friends, etc, it's just me. Me, and my life, my death, and my experience here on Earth/beyond. I'm not gonna live my life based on what people around me think. If I like something, I'm fuckin doing it. Just like if I don't like something, there ain't no way you can force me to do it...

Used to be, my words were respected. I guess once my 'friends' realized I wasn't some fuckin prophet bound for greatness, just a regular mother fucker like them, well, I wasn't good enough for 'em.

Fuck em... they're not real. They're fuckin phantoms. Just like I'm a phantom, to them.

A part of me tells me that I have to do something with my life... the major part is telling me, do what the hell you want. Guess I don't wanna do shit with my life lol