lots of buts

Yeah I ain't blogged in a while...

Been on the DL~ nyugga~

Started my second year at Yavapai Community College- already off to an awesome start, heck yeah~!

Man, I feel terrible being such a jew, but honestly I can't wait to get this financial aid... it should hit my account sometime tomorrow. Hell it shoulda gone in on Friday but God knows the fuckin banks take fifty years to deposit shit; the moment you go over your balance or spend money, though, they're on you like fags at a rave.

I've just been drinking... drinking and drinking... been in a constant drunk for a while, now.  I don't even care about anything else, I'm just waiting for my friggin lifeline to come in- my friggin money...

It's pretty sad that I've become like this.  But it ain't like I'm living at mommy-and-daddy's house anymore, and can sit around and play video games all day, or go on the mountain and trip, or go drink with friends in the woods, or at their pad... I don't know what I've lost over the years but, I feel like I'm caught up in something heavy, something with momentum... I used to espouse the benefits of being weightless and free, having nothing... but with that sporadic lifestyle comes a cost...

Hell everything comes with a cost.

Even the way I live right now, has a cost. That's what I'm bitchin about, I guess. heh...

hmmm

Got thinkin on a weird train of thought...

Ya know I've kind of... I don't know what it is, but things just don't affect me as much anymore... I mean I still cry and get angry and all that shit, but...

It's probably because this is the most stable I've been in a long time.  Ever since leaving home, pretty much.  It's nice to not have to worry about the things I did before, I suppose. 

I still don't... arrrr what the hell, I'm just being a dildo. 

I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, part II today. I've seen it before but it was cool seein it again- God I can't stand but think of how I would have written things differently though, whenever I watch those movies.  Luna Lovegood is so fuckin hot, swear to God I wouldn't need a Firebolt to snatch that golden snitch~ ohhhhh

...her name's fuckin LOVEGOOD. and damn, that ass in them pants... mmmmmhmmm. badonkadonka~ tinker toy? hell no, play with my Tonka~ ohhhhhh

that said I'll kill anyone who thinks they're a rapper or feels they 'should pursue a rapping career'... can I just tattoo 'cancer' on your forehead right fuckin now man?

Hell, I'll go work on my video game... I'm working more on it lately than I have in months, which still isn't saying shit.

...

I don't know if I'm gonna continue with my current living situation though. I really don't... I guess I'll know when I get that money... see what horizons I can see from there.

I'll probly blog later, or tomorrow... sometime soon.  I'm bored as fuck... ironically, it seems the more hours of boredom you accrue the more moments of inspiration you have... it's a disgusting tradeoff though... don't know if it's worth it...