from dust

It seems a long time since I've actually felt like... hell I can't even remember... I just know things never used to be this bad, and yeah....

Sometimes I just wonder, what the fuck am I doing wrong... why is it me, man? Why, God, am I feeling these terribly oppressive, heavy feelings, and why are you making it so hard for me to do what I want to do...

I just feel like everything is lost. You know that feeling when you fucked up on a game and you're like 'alright well i'll just do whatever cuz i might as well die and reload this shit anyways...'

I'm so TIRED of this SHIT.

I'll do my own fuckin shit. The Government can kiss my fuckin ass! I ain't givin it another FUCKIN DIME for a crime that i DIDNT DO! I WILL TAKE THIS SHIT TO COURT!

Everything I do, I must do for myself. It pains me, lol... for what more nobler an escape than to dedicate thine cause and soul to another's? At least you have direction. Like being in the military I guess.

I just gotta say though, I never would have imagined that the world would be like this. Capable of fulfilling our very inner wishes and granting us seemingly endless euphoria, and yet with that same hand, beating us in our moments of joy and pleasure until we beg for another treat.

I tire of such cyclic torture.