small light... stolen angel's singing voices

I'm losing it...

I'm letting everything slip through my hands... my dreams... everything...

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me... why am I so scared of success? Why do I keep putting myself down and beating myself up... I just wish I had someone to help me back to my feet or to cheer me on... but everyone's on the 'other' side, just wishing me bad luck...

I'm getting used and stomped on and treated like shit... it's like there's no fuckin light inside me anymore... I've just lost the fuckin will, man...

I need to get some good sleep tonight... I got steaks and salad- tomorrow's the biology field trip. We meet early, I believe... shoot.. Yeah that's right, we're going to Thumb Butte...

I'm such a wreck... I wish someone... anyone... would tell me they love me, or care... it's been so long, it feels, since I've known any true friendship or love... at least I have my good neighbors and buddies Andy, and Jeremy...

There's such an aching chasm in my chest where my soul used to be... I just want to cry but I don't have the fuckin strength or consternation for that even...