Atlantis Full of Cheer

I'm recovering from a lifestyle involving heavy substance dependency... I'm not gonna hide from it or shout it out loud, I'm just gonna put it out there.

I'm a little afraid of how things are gonna be but I'm also really excited, like, genuinely, 'fresh-sunshine-first-thing-in-the-morning' inspired kind of hopeful~!

I have my love of my life with me here at my side, I'm not scared. I trust her judgment, should all else fail. It's good to know I got someone there who has my back.

The first 'thing' about recovery is... admitting you have something to gain. And admitting you have something to lose.

God, the universe is expanding.

I feel tainted, impure, untrue, like I'm trying to be a virgin but failing horribly, just by opening my mouth. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, I just wanna fly away~

Eventually, all our words are gonna become lyrics. Eventually, all those lyrics are gonna merge into one song. And eventually, we will all be singing... that's my hope, my dream.

I'm scatterbrained, like someone took a paintball gun to a screwdriver, err, vice versa.

I have a twisted kind of uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, like I don't belong. I feel scrutinized but I know I shouldn't, the only one I should be worried about watching me is God and her gaze is beautiful and full of love :o)

My girl's thinkin some crazy shit about God and the origin of life right now, I can't really digg it, it's too precise and in a weird direction, like a cult or something. I just believe what I experience, that's the infallible truth, is experience.

Whether you trust others' experiences or not is another question. That's up to you entirely... People have said I'm gullible, and sometimes I do feel like that kid on Where the Red Fern Grows, but I believe in pure honesty and transparency and truth. That's brilliant, that's love, and that's as solid as it gets man.

We're watching Where the Red Fern Grows again, right now. I watched it by myself last night cuz she passed out and I was bored on the laptop, I needed some background stuff going on.

I like old movies like this, with old values and shit. That's where it's at man, history's full of the same battles and wars we're fighting today, it just might come in a different pattern or color is all. Still on the same floor mat on God's doorstep.

I'm not a religious man but I am very spiritual, I do reflect a lot on God and the brilliance of God, I'm just not keen to calling her by another name than God. Lord, Almighty, Massa, that's all bogus but it's at least words that we can reach to to help us climb up to get a better view of her. And I do believe God is a woman, or at least feminine- everything is inherently feminine unless it becomes male by a minor chromosomal changeup.

You do gotta meet God halfway.