My Wild Love Went Ridin

I swear, you have to be the most foul creature in existence, to just cut someone who pledges their undying love for you, out of your life. Jesus fuckin christ... i guess this is how my mom probably feels... i mean, this bitch is sitting like less than ten feet away from me. she knows i'm here. she just acts like what we shared and everything we did, didn't happen... LIKE WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF DISGUSTING ASS CREATURE ARE YOU, you heartless, inhuman piece of fuckin shit! God, to think that I actually had love for such a fuckin disgusting creature... I hate love sometimes. you can't put it away, you can't diminish it, you cant ignore it...

then again, i guess if you're THIS bitch sitting approximately ten feet away from me all smug as fuck like she's the princess of the fuckin world or some shit, with some all-seeing eye (so fuckin full of herself, the piece of shit) then i guess you CAN put your love away. I swear to God, sometimes I feel like the only human being in a world of fuckin shadows and demons. you all fuckin sicken me.  I fuckin hate every fuckin one of you little shits, you unfeeling, unyearning, lazy pieces of shit that stink up this hellhole and fester around my existence like maggots on an open wound smeared in feces.

and go figure, the nicest fuckin gal in the universe is waiting for me to sweep her off her feet, in Show Low, and I don't have the fuckin drive, or the money, or the balls to do it. I'm scared of hurting this beautiful girl, putting her near something as ugly and fucked up as me... cuz that's what I must be, that's the way these fuckin women treat me, is like i'm a piece of fuckin shit...

yeah i know. it's all so obvious. maybe if i didn't feel like yall were such pieces of shit, yall wouldn't think of me as a piece of shit. well i don't know which came first, the chicken or the egg. but either case, i shoulda ordered the Mongolian Beef.

well, i'm gonna go get some rest. get some sleep in the gentle reverbs of the daytime... while it's still a little warm. I'm fuckin hungry, I have no money cuz my god damn student loans didn't come in like they said they would.

I swear to God, the linearity of this universe is just staggering to me... I see so many patterns in the world around me, like ever-expanding ripples that turn to waves before me... I feel like the only surfer of these cosmic tides, sometimes... like my friends are all on the beach, and I'm the only one with the grit and balls to go out and catch the surf, ya know. I can't just chill on the beach man, I really can't... it's nice to go back every now and then and see you, but God, I feel that pull to swim out... catch the big one...

Well the good thing about having nothing is being humbled... that's for sure. I'm sure I can find some way to capitalize on the heartache this emotionless witch put me through...

and thus the waves doth rumble forth... and i hold my breath and clutch my board... with a smile ^_~m

(or maybe a cheeky grin would be more accurate)

xD

Much love, one love~ true peace, one dream~